In the Middle

It seems like I have spent a lot of my life in the middle. First I was the middle child of three. Although my parents went out of their way to be fair, some other relatives didn't. My brother was favored because he was the oldest, and my sister because she was the cute youngest. I was the one in the middle. And even though my parents were scrupulously fair, there were some things that turned out unfair anyway, just because of the ages we were at the time and how things changed as we got older. That's life, and I didn't mind most of the time. I was pleased that my parents worked so hard to be fair to us all. Since I've grown up, I've often found myself in the middle of other situations. After I married, sometimes my family traditions and my husband's wishes conflicted. He came from a family that was not nearly as close as mine, and traditions weren't as important to them. I often found myself trying to find the way to please everyone while listening to both sides tell me their wishes. Although my parents would never demand that we do the family things, I wanted to, and they wanted us to be included, too. As it turned out, life was sort of a compromise. We didn't spend as much time with my family as I would have liked, but more than my husband would have chosen. I have found myself in similar situations at work, getting caught between colleagues who got along with me, but not with each other. I ended up listening to a lot of grievances. The same is true with some friendships. I would imagine this happens to many people and that I am not unique. Now I find myself in the middle again, between my husband and the rest of our family. Whenever he gets sick, he decides he doesn't want company. The family wants to visit. Most people like to have company for short visits during an illness or recuperation period, but he does not. I have tried to explain to him that the visits are not only for him, but that everyone else wants to see him and know that he is okay. Our kids particularly want to see for themselves that he is recovering. They are not happy at being kept away. Guess who is in the middle. They let me know they aren't happy, and he is telling me that he just wishes that everyone would honor his request. For the record, I HATE being in the middle! But life is good, anyway. The patient is mending, and all will work out in the end.